Once a year, you all deem it necessary to make me actually do work. I resent this. Doing work is someone else's job, I haven't done anything for the last 354 days and I don't know why you feel the need for me to break my streak.
Either way, the fax on my desk is merely a compilation of our annual yearly awards, an event no one looks forward to, especially not me. I suppose it's a holiday tradition, much like putting trees in living rooms and getting pines everywhere, or whatever happened at my neighbor's Kwanzaa party. Either way, here are Anime Night's Best of 2016 picks. Don't hurt yourselves.
Game of the Year
We had a list of "
Anime Night is proud to give the Game of the Year award to Lemon Demon's fantastic album Spirit Phone.
Best Undertale of 2015
When did Undertale come out again?
That Thing Kids These Days Like That I Don't Like
Kids! Am I right? They don't know what life was like in the old days. They're always playing on their cell phones and watching their YouTube personalities play Minecraft. Back in my day, it was different—we played on our worse cell phones and watch our YouTube personalities play Minecraft Beta. How times have changed.
You know what the worst thing kids these days like that I don't like? James Joyce's 1922 modernist epic Ulysses. The significance of the book on English literature makes me sick just thinking about it.
Best Celebrity Whose Lawyers Didn't Threaten to Sue Us For Publishing This Article
Best Gaming Controversy
This year had its share of gaming controversies, like that one game with the full paid expansion pack for a game that hadn't come out, or the other one involving some sort of sky. Unfortunately, not putting something here might ironically be a controversy itself. That's why we're giving it to the biggest gaming-related controversy of recent memory—you probably remember it pretty clearly—involving a certain Overwatch character and their significant other. That's right—the gaming controversy of the year is Torbjorn's sex life.
Best Port of a Console Game People Had Forgotten About Already
Remember when Bubsy came to Steam?
Best Celebrity Still Alive
Best FNAF Merchandise To Get Embarrassed That It's Being Sold In Stores
Literally all of it.
The One Game This Year Not Trying To Make Some Sort of Point About Existence or Society or Something Like That
It seems like every game these days is trying to make some big picture point about something. Now everything from indie games to modern war shooters want to tell me about their personal views on morality, and how life is what we make of it, or something like that. I don't even know what Dear Esther was supposed to be about. Whatever. In protest, we decided to take a look at some video games that didn't try to make a point about something, and just let you run around and shoot at everything. That's why we're giving the award to Orwell.
Best PS4 Theme
Best Internet Activism
This year has really been amazing. When this year began, you'd be hard pressed to find someone who would cast their lot with this unknown party—and yet, by year's end, they'd won the presidency and most of Congress. That's right, I'm talking about the Republican party—this upstart little party went from humble beginnings all the way to the White House, all thanks to internet activism. Even with all the bad in the world, it's good to know that we still have the internet, where nothing bad ever happens.