Through a comedy of technical errors, this article is going up a day late. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.
Star Citizen's FPS Section Is Almost Here
Star Citizen has a first-person shooter section? OK. Whatever. Some part of me wants to say "feature creep," but I'm sure someone like Chris Roberts isn't the kind of person who would do something dumb, like open up four studios to work on one crowdfunded game project, or sell millions of dollars of virtual ships despite not having a game to put them in, or other things like that. Well, that first person shooter section is called Star Marine, and it's arisen from the murky haze of vaporware into the real world, where people like to see things get finished. That's right, coming this December 8th, you'll be able to get your hands on Star Marine just two years before they miss their 2018 release date!
Steam Now Has Its Own Audience-Voted GOTY Awards
Direct democracy has never resulted in anything bad happening. Direct democracy when presented to the kind of people who play games on the internet has never resulted in anything bad happening. That's why the new Steam Awards is a good idea! That's right, you and all the other people you know on Steam can now vote for games for each of these categories:
- Best game that wasn't in this year.
- Saddest game.
- Game that's most difficult to keep playing.
- The game that most makes you feel like you're on an acid trip.
- Bad guy who most needs a hug.
- Best mini-game in a game.
- Best sleeper hit.
- Best use of a farm animal.
There's also a write-in category, which will almost certainly result in something dumb and probably offensive!
UK Government Advisor Says Minecraft In Schools Is A Gimmick
Schools have Minecraft now. I don't know why. I don't know what you learn by using Minecraft in schools. Do they demonstrate basic shapes by using cubes? If so, how do you show spheres? Parallelograms? I'm not an expert. I've never even been to school.
Tom Bennett, an advisor to the UK's education department, seems to have gone to school. He also doesn't like Minecraft. He says that it's "another gimmick that will get in the way of children actually learning." I don't know if that's true, and some other smart people seem to think it's not. He also says that we need to "drain the swamp of gimmicks," which—given the track record of people who say we should drain the swamp—isn't a good sign.
Watch Dogs 2 First Week Sales Fall Short of Original Game
Watch Dogs 2 is here, and the general reception has been "it's better than the first one." That hasn't had an impact on sales, at least not yet, as Watch Dogs 2's ~80K first week sales fall quite a bit short of the original game's 380k units. It is worth noting that the original game, despite not aging very well, was incredibly hyped and far more promoted than the sequel has been. Also worth noting is that several other AAA titles, including Dishonored 2 and Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare, have fallen short of predictions. I don't know what's going on. Why would I?
Saints Row 4 Finally Gets Mod Support
Saints Row 4, the reskinned version of Saints Row 3, has been out for over three years at this point. And now you can use mods in it! Steam Workshop mods, which are the best kinds of mods! I don't have very much more to say about this.
Cities: Skylines Next Expansion Natural Disasters Coming Soon
Cities: Skylines is a great game, but I've never been able to call it a true city builder. Sure, it's a game where you create a city by building it, but that's not enough, damn it! To really make a city builder, you need to have natural disasters. And that's what the next expansion to Cities: Skylines is! Cities: Skylines: Natural Disasters comes out next week, for the personal computer. You can buy it! It'll be $15!