Ah, E3. That time when a lot of gaming news happens, except we already knew about it because it was either announced or leaked ahead-of-time. We sent Anime Night writer Jerry Brown down to get us some hot scoops, and he reminded us that there's no reason for him to be there, because we're writing this article a week after E3 started, so there's not really any way for our hot scoops to still be hot when we publish them. But he went anyways. This article is not a result of that.
Microsoft Announces Xbox One S, Which Is Like The Xbox One, But Kind Of Better
At Microsoft's E3 press conference, they announced what everyone (including us!) already knew: there's a new version of the Xbox One coming in August, called the Xbox One S. What's great about the Xbox One S? Well, it's got 2TB of storage, if you buy the $399 version (1TB and 500GB versions are also available). It's about 40% smaller, and it comes with 4K and HDR support, as well as support for UHD Blu-ray. It also has a new controller, that is apparently better! And you're going to need to buy an adaptor to plug your Kinect into it, if you still have one.
We actually knew about all of this before Microsoft's E3 press conference, thanks to leaks posted on NeoGAF.
Crash Bandicoot is Back, Sort Of
Guess what: the Crash Bandicoot series is coming to PS4—but we're not getting anything new out of it. The first three Crash Bandicoot games (1, 2, and Warped) are getting PS4-exclusive remakes or remasters or whatever. That's something, I guess. It's better than the fact that Crash Bandicoot—the character, not the game—is coming to Skylanders: Imaginators, which is Activision's Amiibo ripoff.
In other Skylanders news, they're starting an animated series based on the games, titled Skylanders Academy, continuing a beloved tradition of using shitty kids shows to hock shitty toys.
The Skylanders Wikia claims that the Skylanders series is a reboot of Spyro the Dragon, which I don't think is true.
Microsoft Announces New Console Called "Project Scorpio," Compatible With The Xbox One
It's a well-known business principle that you're not supposed to announce next year's version of your product when you're still trying to sell this year's version of your product. Microsoft apparently disagrees, since—just after announcing the Xbox One S—they announced Project Scorpio, "the most powerful console ever," compatible with all Xbox One Games and peripherals, due holiday 2017. It's said to contain eight CPU cores, "six teraflops of GPU power," and 320GB/s of memory bandwidth (and hopefully the right kind of RAM this time). It's also said to have "the highest-quality pixels anybody has seen," which is not a claim I would be confident in. They also say it won't have any exclusives, which is pretty cool—although, I think they mean that if they have exclusives, they'll be both for the Xbox One and Project Scorpio.
So Microsoft announces a more powerful Xbox One with 4K support, and then announces that they'll be another, even more powerful Xbox One with 4K support a year later. Do they really expect that people will be picking up both the Xbox One S and Project Scorpio?
They really seem to be confused on how best to market this to consumers. In an interview later that week, Phil Spencer stated that, if you're still using a 1080p TV for gaming, Project Scorpio "is not going to do anything for you." He does say that the game will "look different" and "run a little better" on Project Scorpio. This seems to suggest that all Project Scorpio games will also be Xbox One games. So what's the point? Part of me wants to think that Microsoft actually has a devious marketing scheme for this that we just can't see yet, but part of me just thinks this is going to be a huge blunder for them.
Also, isn't it odd that both this mysterious Project Scorpio and the PlayStation VR (Project Morpheus) were announced before they decided on a real name for their project? Have they forgotten how project code names work? They're just setting themselves up for confusion when they announce the real name of the console and for months people have to append "Project Scorpio" to it so people know what they're actually talking about.
Sony's Rebooting God of War
You know what I've been thinking recently? "Wow, I sure wish there was a new God of War game, except one that was exactly the same as the original, but in HD!" Well, it seems my non-existent prayers have been answered! Sony's announced a God of War reboot, also titled God of War (this won't be confusing), for PS4.
Did you know the last year we didn't have a new God of War game was 2006?
Sony Announces Death Stranding, A New Game by Hideo Kojima
In 2013, Hideo Kojima tweeted "I want to do 3D capture Ryan Gosling and Norman Reedus and make game with them." Though no game with Ryan Gosling has thus far been announced, his Norman Reedus dreams seem to have been realized. At Sony's E3 press conference, Kojima announced his new game, titled Death Stranding, starring Norman Reedus tied to a fetus. I'm not sure what the symbolism of that is, but I'm not sure I was supposed to.
Bethesda Announces Final Fallout 4 DLC, Titled "Nuka World"
Looks like Bethesda's decided that it's time for the Fallout 4 money train to make its last stop, annoucing Nuka World, the final DLC for Fallout 4, due this August. What's in this DLC? Well, they're not saying much, just that it'll be a major story-focused DLC (like Far Harbor), and that it'll be set in what appears to be a Disney World-esque theme park owned by the Nuka-Cola Corporation. Also coming to Fallout 4: the Contraptions add-on, adding all sorts of nifty things you'll be able to build, which is due next week, and the Vault-Tec add-on, which will let you create your own vault.
Oh, and Fallout 4 and DOOM are coming to VR in 2017.
Resident Evil 7 Coming to PS4, With PSVR Support
If you were disappointed when Silent Hills was cancelled, or you're one of the many people who were disappointed that Resident Evil 6 wasn't, you might be happy to know that Resident Evil 7 was just announced, and it might not suck! It's a completely first-person game, with supposedly "photorealistic" graphics, and it's set in a "derelict plantation mansion in rural America." The game launches January 2017, but there's a playable trailer available right now if you have Playstation Plus. I wonder where some of their inspiration might be coming from?
It's also going to have support for PSVR, which should be terrifying.
Skyrim Remaster Announced, Coming to the PC, PS4, and Xbox One
The rumors were true: at Bethesda's E3 press conference, they announced the Skyrim Special Edition, a Skyrim remaster for the PC, PS4, and Xbox One. It comes with all sorts of things that don't seem so important, like god-rays, better snow, better water, dynamic depth-of-field, and screen-space reflections—oh joy! It also comes with, as you'd expect, remastered art, so things should look a little less... Gamebryo-y. Something important that's coming to consoles is support for PC mods, something that the original game on consoles didn't support.
If you own the original Skyrim and all the DLC on Steam, or you own the Legendary Edition on Steam, you'll get a free upgrade to the Skyrim Special Edition.
New Star Trek Game for VR Coming This Fall
Though Ubisoft doesn't seem to be porting any of their top AAA titles to VR like Bethesda is, they're at least making something, and that something is called Star Trek: Bridge Crew. Essentially, the idea is that you get three of your friends together, and you all put on ridiculously expensive VR headsets and use wonky motion controls to pretend like you're on the bridge of a starship in the Star Trek universe. Joking aside, it does actually seem like a cool idea, though it's also the most expensive party game I've ever heard of.
The Last Guardian Finally Gets A Release Date
Remember how we were going to get a sort-of sequel to Shadow of the Colossus in 2011? That's what we thought in 2009. And then everything else happened, and now we're here in 2016 thinking that the game will never be released. Well, that was before Sony's E3 conference, where they announced—again—The Last Guardian, and gave us another release date—this time, of the 25th of October 2016. Hopefully this will be the actual release date, and it won't turn out that they've actually overstated the completion of the game and it'll be delayed again!
PayPal Reveals The Start Date of the Steam Summer Sale
Thanks to E3, it's hard to remember that there's other things that happened in video games. One of the things that happened—or, really, will happen—is the Steam summer sale. Steam hasn't made an official announcement as to the start date of this, but—thanks to PayPal—we now know when it is. They sent out a tweet, accidentally or not, stating that the Steam summer sale starts June 23rd. Perhaps we'll have an even bigger security fuck-up on Steam's part this time!
Some of Robert Yang's Games Now Available on Steam
If you haven't heard of him before, Robert Yang is the many who makes really gay games. And I don't mean that in a derogatory way. One of his games, Hurt Me Plenty, is a game about (consensually!) spanking a man's butt, with the underlying message about consent in BDSM communities. In fact, while all of his games are sexual and somewhat uncomfortable, they all have an actual, serious message about a serious contemporary issue. This hasn't stopped some of his games from being placed on the list of banned Twitch games, alongside titles like RapeLay and The Maiden Rape Assault: Violent Semen Inferno. Anyways, >Robert Yang has gotten a few of his games—Succulent, Stick Shift, and the aforementioned Hurt Me Plenty—onto Steam. His goal by doing this is to "#MakeGamesGayAgain," because he believes "it's important for gay games to be present and visible on a major video game platform like Steam, to help resist and combat the very real erasure of gay people from games, society, or even erasure from the mass shootings that exclusively target gay people. It's important for people to see gay stuff on Steam and in larger game culture, because then it shows that 'we belong here' just like everyone else." Sorry, I can't make any jokes about this.