Here's an informational bulletin: It's now officially 2016, for those of you at home not keeping score. You can now safely flip your 2016 calendar open. Or, if you're fancy, flip your 2016 calendar from the December 2015 page to the January page. Or, if you're lazy, flip your 2015 calendar to the January 2016 page. Or, if you're an idiot, you can get out your "Cat Picture a Day" calendar out. It's finally time.
Now, most people don't look back fondly on 2015. Apparently some game dev got fired or something, but got re-hired by another company? Sounds like things worked out. There was that one guy who jacked up medicine prices, and then bought a one-of-a-kind Wu-Tan Clan album, and then got arrested. Not releasing that album I take as a personal slight against myself as a musician, but he's in jail now so fuck him.
To me, though, 2015 was a great year. One of the best for me. The main reason for that was I was lying dead in a heap on my floor for a good portion of it, while my partner relaxed on vacation. So I got to miss all the bad shit! Finally, things go my way for fucking once. Unfortunately, my Old Year's Resolution to actually play and watch stuff to rate them for this article didn't get done, for the most part. So, here's some bullshit that I've managed to scrounge up about last year. Enjoy.
I've heard a lot about Undertale. I've heard it's the best game of all time, forever. I heard it was a shitty meme game. I heard it would at least change my life. I played it. It was pretty good. Not sure if I would call it best game of all time, but I liked it alright. I do fear for my safety if I don't give it an award though, so...
I got a note from the Corporation saying that the staff had voted Ash vs Evil Dead "of the Year." The notecard got ripped, but I can only assume "Game" was what was written on it, since that seems to be all we cover. I couldn't find any games called that, though, so my best assumption is that they meant the game Evil Dead: Hail to the King. It even has King in the title!
Not only did our beloved furry friend Bubsy return in the in-development game Bubsy Mobcat—the original two games that made Bubsy Bobcat a household name are back, now on Steam. Move over Point Break—Bubsy's back.
Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens. Where the hell is Darth Vader?
I've played a few so-called walking simulators, and they've left me wanting. Sure, I suppose Dear Esther involved walking, but there was only one person walking—and it wasn't very realistic. You didn't even have legs! So when I played Cities: Skylines, I was amazed. Not only did this game simulate one person walking correctly, it simulated thousands of people. I think we should just retire the phrase "walking simulator" right now—no game will ever live up to Cities: Skylines.
The competition was tough this year for Best Year of 2015. In the end, it came down to two options: 2015, and 604 BC. In the end, we chose 2015. Sure, 604 BC had its share of exciting events—such as the death of Duke Gong of Qin, sixteenth ruler of the Zhou Dynasty state of Qin—but 2015 wins, if not just because it's the year Undertale came out.
Rick and Morty.
Scammers on Kickstarter just don't get the kind of appreciation they deserve. So we'd like to give an award to the Coleco Chameleon, formerly known as the Retro VGS, for being the best kickstarter scam of the year—if they're ever able to convince anyone to give them money.
Through undying dedication to his principles and a commitment to protecting the rights of others, activist and gamer Martin Shkreli brought to light the corruption and collusion in the pharmaceutical industry. He's put millions of his own money into his cause, and he's even gone to jail for what he believes in. If Gandhi was around today, even he'd be ashamed that he hasn't done as much as Shkreli has.