More and More People Learning To Play Crusader Kings II; Scientists Baffled

More and More People Learning To Play Crusader Kings II; Scientists Baffled

Paradox Interactive, well-known publisher of such popular games as Penumbra, Cities in Motion 2 and Trainz—The Complete Collection, has revealed that their popular royal incest simulator, Crusader Kings 2, has sold over one million units. The game is well known for being impossible to play, though Paradox claims that thousands of people have learn to do just that already.

Paradox also claims that over one hundred thousand people play the game every month, and as much as 12,500 people every day. Studies have found that many players of Crusader Kings II are angered by suggestions of "Hey, I know how to play Civ V, can we play that instead?," leading some to conclude that these players are not, in fact, human. Attempts by researchers to teach regular gamers to play Crusader Kings II have ended in failure, further supporting these results.

Fellow Anime Night writer Conro Norock commented on his attempt at playing Crusader Kings II:

"I was playing the tutorial when I realized that Dwarf Fortress made more sense to me than the family tree I was looking at. So I went back to reading Game of Thrones."

I caught occasional writer David Parizot in the middle of a heated session of European geopolitics to get his take on the game:

"Here's the problem with coming up with a quote: I've played the game for, like, 40 hours, but I've only ever played as Dublin."

In a statement earlier today, Fredrik Wester, CEO of Paradox Interactive, voiced his opinion on the game:

"We make games for people who want to dive deep and explore a title with endless possibilities, where each player develops their own in-game story—and our players have responded."

This implies that, if you can figure out how to play it, you can somehow create a story that doesn't involve incest and regicide. My personal observations say otherwise.

Non-human players of Crusader Kings II can check out the soon-to-be-released Charlemange expansion.

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